I’ve had a solid week of sticking to my diet! I was shocked when I realized that. And then sad that I was shocked. Do you get it?
For my journaling prompt today, let’s use the following:
Journal Prompt: I will ALWAYS stick to my diet!
(My diet isn’t a diet, really. It’s a nutrition plan that’s focused on overall health and satisfaction).
To start the journaling, I make the above statement and then listen internally for any response from my subconscious mind.
LOL. No, you won’t. It’s as simple as that, pal. You won’t. You won’t stick to your diet. You will not. Is there any other way to say it? You will fail.
And you know it. Using the word ALWAYS is a mind trick to flush out objections on the inside. That’s it. Nothing is always/never. You and I both know you will fail to stick to your diet, so please stop insulting my intelligence.
Stop the mind tricks. Stop all the rules. Stop trying to change what you are. Yes, you’ll die younger than you want. So what? Most people probably do. Yeah, you’ll get diabetes if you don’t stick to your diet. Ok. What you thought you could avoid your fate? You’re an idiot.
After listing to this, I feel sad. What am I going to do? This part of me (attitude) has such a hold on my psyche. It actually feels like someone is attacking me even though it is clearly happening inside of me.
Do you ever feel like this?
I’ll just sit with it. I’d rather feel sad than try to divert my attention with food. You know what, some parts of me are wicked smart. They won’t be manipulated. That’s a good thing.
I was raised in a highly manipulative environment in which people were continually (unconsciously) manipulating each other. (I was raised in a cult).
Those dumb motherfuckers thought they’d capture and imprison me for life! But I got out at age 37. I figured it out. So fuck you and your agenda to get me to bend to your will. I’ll do whatever the fuck I feel like doing.
What if what you feel like doing is killing us?
Then fuck that. Wait. Hold up. I don’t know…..I just don’t want anyone to take advantage of us. But this isn’t that. OK, I get it now.
I love to plan things but some part of me hates to be planned for. Raised in a cult by people who always had plans for me – plans that I wasn’t interested in and that only benefitted them. I hate plans!
And I love making plans. LOL. I love making plans but hate following them.